March 30, 2006
Oh my gawd LOL… tonight I got an email from a friend of my parents. They often write and ask me to verify the legitimacy of these emails that float around proclaiming impending doom and disaster. Tonight I got this gem… this has to be THE MOST hiliarous hoax email I’ve ever read. Note the date of the event by the way… Enjoy :)
To: All Internet Users
From: Network Maintenance Staff
Main branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Subject: Internet Cleaning
PLEASE PASS THIS NOTICE TO OTHER USERS WHO MAY NOT SEE IT!
As many of you know… each year the internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The cleaning process, which eliminates dead e-mail and inactive ftp, www and gopher sites, allows for a better-working and faster internet.
This year, the cleaning process will take place from 12:01 a.m. GMT on April 1 until 12:01 a.m. GMT on April 2. During that 24-hour period, five very powerful Japanese built multi-lingual internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274) positioned around the world will search the internet and delete any data that they find.
In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you do the following:
- Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their internet connections.
- Shut down all internet servers, or disconnect them from the internet.
- Disconnect all disks and hardrives from any connections to the
internet. - Refrain from connecting any computer to the internet in any way.
- Avoid placing operating microwave ovens or toaster/toaster ovens near your telephone, DSL, or cable modem.
- Avoid wearing nylon (or other dielectric fiber) undergarments
because of the possibility of electrical discharge.
We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some internet users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any inconvenience will be more than made up for by the increased speed and efficiency of the internet, once it has been cleared of electronic flotsam and jetsam.
We thank you for your cooperation.
“Flotsam” & “jetsam” ‚Äî two of my favorite words. Think I could get that group to come and clean all the F & J out of MY computer? Guttersnipes, they are! Alarming good, decent folks that way. Hmph!
Soul ;)
(Wow! Three of my favorite words, all in one paragraph!)